Careful with that quilt, buddy. Also my wife.

In July, I'm going to get to see something I've wanted to see for years: the AIDS Quilt. When I saw that it was coming back to DC, I was thrilled.

What was even more thrilling? The opportunity to volunteer. Not only would I get to see the Quilt . . . I could touch it. I could help.

Excited, I volunteered to help set up. I told Curtis I was volunteering, and he asked what I was doing.

And with that, on the subject of mindful volunteering and avoiding nutjobs. . .

Sally: I wanted to be a Quilt Monitor, but I didn't think I would be able to on any days they would need me. So I signed up to set up.

Curtis: What's a Quilt Monitor?

Sally: You hang out around the quilt and make sure no one's hurting it, and--

Curtis: Don't do that. I don't want you to do that.

Sally: Why not? People could try to damage it, or steal it.

Curtis: There will be crazy people and homophobes out there, and I'm afraid they'll hurt or attack you, when you're just doing something good.

Sally: I'd be fine. There would be other people around. It wouldn't just be me alone with a giant quilt.

Curtis: No, I don't want you to do that. I'm afraid some crazy gay-basher will go after you, just to get to the quilt to damage it.

Sally: Well, there's more to the job. You're also there to give information, and you're on the lookout for people who are upset and overcome, to offer comfort and support.

Curtis: You'd be good at that, because you're a sweet baby. But I just don't want you to get hurt by some dumbass.

Sally: I'd be in the Smithsonian.

Curtis: Crazy people go to the Smithsonian every day. Please just set it up.

Sally: Okay. I don't think I can do it anyway.

Curtis: I just worry about you.