On the subject of exercise:
Curtis: There's a Parkour gym in Arlington.
Sally: Huh.
Curtis: Would you go to that?
Sally: Are you insane? I have enough trouble walking around on a normal day without breaking bones. I can't imagine how Parkour would be a good idea for someone who breaks her back falling down one step, or breaks a rib dancing in a gay bar.
Curtis: Yeah, I guess not. There's a Parkour meetup, too.
Sally: What would that entail? Running around, bouncing off of things?
Curtis: I suppose.
Sally: You know they're all going to be complete douches, too. So if I went, my practice of Parkour would quickly devolve into kickboxing, as I would end up beating half of them to death. But, hey, it's exercise.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Those eagles must have an awesome propaganda team
While watching a documentary about Alaskan wildlife . . .
Curtis: Look at all those bald eagles. Seriously, they're everywhere.
Sally: What? I thought those things were endangered.
Curtis: Apparently not.
Sally: Weird.
Curtis: I can't wait until Ron Paul wins, so I can start hunting bald eagles for sport and food.
Curtis: Look at all those bald eagles. Seriously, they're everywhere.
Sally: What? I thought those things were endangered.
Curtis: Apparently not.
Sally: Weird.
Curtis: I can't wait until Ron Paul wins, so I can start hunting bald eagles for sport and food.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Planning ahead
On the subject of one's demise, as we drive past a cemetery:
Sally: There are all these little marble benches over there. Are you going to have a little marble bench made for me when I die?
Curtis: No.
Sally: Well, what are you going to do?
Curtis: For what?
Sally: For me! When I die! What are you going to do?
Curtis: I don't know.
Sally: Well, you need to think about it. You need to throw me a big party when I'm dead, and you need to start working on this now, or you'll never get it done.
Curtis: I'll put Jim, or Carolyn, or Tracy, or someone in charge of it. I'll be too bereaved to plan your death party.
Sally: And by "bereaved," I'm assuming you mean "lazy."
Curtis: You got it. And make sure you tell them to remind me to show up. That's what you were in charge of when you were alive, and once you're dead, I'll never remember to do anything social.
Sally: I'll also tell them to say "Is that what you're wearing? No, really" when they see you.
Curtis: It'll be just like when you were alive. Can you have them hang a sign like that on your casket?
Sally: Of course. But you can't put Carolyn in charge of my burial or anything. She'll have me taxidermied. Just the party.
Sally: There are all these little marble benches over there. Are you going to have a little marble bench made for me when I die?
Curtis: No.
Sally: Well, what are you going to do?
Curtis: For what?
Sally: For me! When I die! What are you going to do?
Curtis: I don't know.
Sally: Well, you need to think about it. You need to throw me a big party when I'm dead, and you need to start working on this now, or you'll never get it done.
Curtis: I'll put Jim, or Carolyn, or Tracy, or someone in charge of it. I'll be too bereaved to plan your death party.
Sally: And by "bereaved," I'm assuming you mean "lazy."
Curtis: You got it. And make sure you tell them to remind me to show up. That's what you were in charge of when you were alive, and once you're dead, I'll never remember to do anything social.
Sally: I'll also tell them to say "Is that what you're wearing? No, really" when they see you.
Curtis: It'll be just like when you were alive. Can you have them hang a sign like that on your casket?
Sally: Of course. But you can't put Carolyn in charge of my burial or anything. She'll have me taxidermied. Just the party.
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